Moe Bergeron

The transition from striving to resting is not a single event but a lifelong process of relearning how to relate to God. For many new believers, the shift from religion to relationship feels like stepping off a treadmill they have run on their entire lives. They expect God to be a harsh examiner, a cosmic accountant tallying their good deeds against their bad. The first task of the teacher is to dismantle this image of God and replace it with the reality of the Father revealed in Jesus Christ.

Romans 8:15–17 (Galatians 4:4–7; John 1:12)

For you did not receive a spirit of slavery that returns you to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. And if we are children, then we are heirs: heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ—if indeed we suffer with Him, so that we may also be glorified with Him.

1. Distinguish the Motive: Fear vs. Love The first practical step is to help the believer identify the engine driving their actions. Striving is fueled by fear: “If I don’t do this, God will be angry,” or “If I fail, I will lose my place.” Resting is fueled by love: “Because I am loved, I want to please Him.” When a new believer confesses a sin, ask them gently: What is your immediate reaction? If the answer is panic, shame, or a frantic attempt to “make up for it” through extra prayer or service, they are likely operating in the spirit of slavery. If the answer is sorrow mixed with a desire to turn back to the Father, they are beginning to taste the spirit of adoption. Teach them that God does not need their perfection; He desires their presence. The goal is not to stop sinning to get loved, but to stop sinning because we are loved.

2. Reframe the Meaning of Failure New believers often view failure as a disqualification. They think, “I messed up, so I must start over from scratch.” This is the mindset of the servant who fears being fired. The teacher must gently correct this by showing that failure in the life of a child is not a termination of the relationship but an opportunity for discipline and growth. Use the analogy of a father and a toddler learning to walk. When the child falls, the father does not say, “You are no longer my son; go back to the orphanage.” He says, “Get up, I am here.” Teach them that their standing before God is not based on their stability but on Christ’s stability. When they stumble, they do not lose their adoption; they simply experience the Father’s hand reaching out to steady them.

3. Introduce the Language of “Abba” The Greek word Abba is an intimate, familial term, akin to “Papa” or “Daddy.” It is the language of a child who knows they are safe. Striving speaks the language of the courtroom; adoption speaks the language of the nursery. Encourage new believers to practice praying with this intimacy. When they feel the urge to perform, invite them to pause and simply say, “Abba.” This simple act shifts the focus from what I am doing for God to who I am in God. It reminds them that their access to the Father is not granted by their holiness but by the blood of Jesus. The Spirit within them bears witness to this reality, whispering that they are not orphans trying to impress a stranger, but children returning to a home where they are already known and cherished.

4. Shift the Focus from “Doing” to “Being” In the early stages of faith, new believers often confuse sanctification (the process of becoming holy) with justification (the act of being declared righteous). They try to be holy in order to be accepted. The teacher must reverse this order: “You are accepted, therefore you can become holy.” Use the metaphor of a branch and the vine. A branch does not strive to produce fruit to prove it belongs to the tree; it produces fruit because it is connected to the life of the tree. Similarly, the believer does not strive to prove they are a child of God; they bear the fruit of the Spirit because they are already connected to the Father. When they feel the pressure to “do more,” remind them that their primary job is to abide (John 15:4–5). The fruit is the overflow of the connection, not the condition of it.

5. Model the Grace of the Father Finally, the most powerful teaching tool is the teacher’s own example. If the leader of the small group or the mentor speaks of their own failures with shame, the new believer will learn to strive. But if the leader speaks of their failures with humility, acknowledging their constant need for grace and their unshakeable security in Christ, the new believer will learn to rest. Share stories of your own struggles with striving and how the truth of adoption has set you free. Let them see that the Christian life is not a ladder they must climb, but a home they have entered.

Practical Reflection

Teaching a new believer to rest is like teaching a bird to fly. At first, it clings to the branch, terrified of the fall. It must be gently encouraged to let go, not because the air is safe, but because the wings are strong and the Father is holding the sky. When they stumble, do not scold them for their fear; hold out the truth of their identity. Remind them that the Father’s love is not a prize they win at the finish line; it is the air they breathe from the starting gate. As they learn to distinguish the heavy yoke of striving from the light burden of adoption, they will find that the very things they once tried to earn—peace, joy, love, and patience—begin to flow freely from a heart that finally believes it is safe.