Moe Bergeron

Today, we’re turning our attention to another essential aspect of love—its consideration and self-control. Real love is thoughtful. It pays attention to how words, actions, and attitudes impact others. It doesn’t push its own agenda. And it doesn’t let emotions run wild.

The Apostle Paul continues his list of love’s attributes by reminding us that love “does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” These qualities are not only countercultural—they are Christlike.

Scripture Reading: 1 Corinthians 13:5 (BSB)

“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Love is Not Rude: The Power of Respect

Rudeness may not seem like a major offense, but it’s often the first crack in a relationship. It shows up as sarcasm, interruptions, dismissive comments, or careless actions. Rudeness is essentially a lack of regard for others—a failure to honor them as image-bearers of God.

Love, on the other hand, is deeply respectful. It doesn’t embarrass or belittle. It speaks with kindness and listens with attentiveness. It values the thoughts, feelings, and presence of others, even in disagreement.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.” – Romans 12:10 (BSB)

In a culture that often prizes bluntness over gentleness, love dares to be different by choosing respect—even when it’s inconvenient.

Love is Not Self-Seeking: The Freedom of Selflessness

Self-seeking behavior puts personal comfort, ambition, or convenience above the needs of others. It says, “Me first.” But love says, “You matter, too.”

Love puts others first, not because it’s easy, but because it’s right. It’s the same love that led Christ to the cross—not for His own gain, but for our salvation. When we love selflessly, we’re choosing to be like Jesus: to give rather than take, to serve rather than be served.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:45 (BSB)

Selflessness doesn’t mean you neglect your own needs—but it does mean you don’t live as if yours are the only ones that matter.

Love is Not Easily Angered: Practicing Patience in Pressure

Anger isn’t always explosive. Sometimes it simmers—building resentment or fueling passive aggression. Being “easily angered” means having a short fuse, letting minor irritations spark major reactions.

Love chooses a better way. It pauses. It listens. It practices self-control, refusing to let emotions rule the moment. This doesn’t mean ignoring injustice—it means responding with wisdom, not wrath.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1 (BSB)

When we love with patience, we give people room to grow. We offer grace. And we build relationships that can withstand the storms of life.

Discussion Questions

Reflecting on Respect

• Have you ever witnessed rudeness damage a relationship? How did it affect trust or communication?
• What are some intentional ways we can honor others in conversation and conduct?

Examining Selflessness

• Where in your life is self-seeking behavior most tempting?
• How does putting others first—especially when it’s inconvenient—reflect the heart of Christ?

Practicing Patience

• What typically triggers a quick reaction or anger in you?
• What practical steps can you take to respond with patience and grace in those moments?

Application: Living Out Respect, Selflessness, and Patience

Mindful Communication
This week, practice intentional kindness in your speech. Avoid sarcasm or dismissiveness, and instead, honor others through your tone, timing, and choice of words. Make space for others to speak and feel heard.

Selfless Acts
Identify an opportunity to serve someone without expecting anything in return. Whether it’s covering a task at work, being more present with family, or simply giving up your spot in line—let selflessness be your posture.

Patience in Practice
Choose a situation that usually provokes frustration—maybe it’s traffic, a difficult coworker, or delays in plans. When it happens, pause. Breathe. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you respond rather than react. Practice patience as an act of worship.

Conclusion: Love That Builds Up

The kind of love Paul describes is not just affectionate—it’s transformational. It reshapes how we treat others, how we respond to conflict, and how we carry ourselves in every interaction.

Love that is not rude, not self-seeking, and not easily angered creates safe spaces for trust to grow. It mirrors the heart of Jesus, who never used people for His own advantage, who spoke with grace, and who showed incredible restraint under pressure.

When we cultivate respect, selflessness, and patience, we lay the groundwork for lasting, life-giving relationships—and we reflect the very character of Christ.

Next Session Preview:

In Session 4, we’ll explore how love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. We’ll dig into the importance of integrity, honesty, and standing for what is right in a world where truth is often compromised.

Questions and Answers

Q: What’s the difference between being honest and being rude?
A: Honesty speaks truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Rudeness disregards how truth is delivered. Love finds ways to be truthful while still honoring the dignity of others.

Q: Isn’t some self-interest healthy?
A: Yes—self-care is important. But love is not driven by self-interest. It considers the needs of others as well, seeking a balance that reflects Christ’s servant-heartedness.

Q: How can I practice not being “easily angered” when I feel justified in my frustration?
A: It starts with prayer and humility. Ask God to show you the root of your frustration, and let the Holy Spirit guide your response. You can be firm and honest without being harsh or reactionary.

Let’s continue to grow in love—not just in emotion, but in action, attitude, and everyday grace.