Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Notes
This section reveals the beauty of how the gospel shapes family life under the New Covenant. Paul begins not with abstract ideas but with direct exhortation to children. Believing children are not excluded from the covenant community; they are addressed as full participants in Christ. Their obedience is not to earn approval—it is “in the Lord,” flowing from their new identity in Him. All children, regenerate or not, are to obey Christ.
Paul cites the fifth commandment but frames it in fulfillment terms: it is the first commandment with a promise, now applied not as Sinai’s condition but as Christ’s affirmation of life-giving obedience. The promise—“that it may go well with you”—is not transactional law but relational blessing. The New Covenant transforms obedience into joy-filled fellowship
(cf. Colossians 3:20; Deuteronomy 5:16).
To fathers (and by implication all parents), Paul offers not mere authority but responsibility. Do not provoke your children—not by harshness, inconsistency, or shame—but nurture them with the kind of discipline that reflects the Lord’s own training of His children. The goal is not behavior control but heart formation—raising children to know, love, and follow Jesus.
The phrase “discipline and instruction of the Lord” shows that parenting is a spiritual calling. It is not merely to pass on moral values but to raise up a new generation of Christ-followers. The word “discipline” evokes structured correction; “instruction” evokes formative counsel. But both are in the Lord, not in frustration or fear.
The New Covenant family is a miniature church, a place where the grace of Christ rules, where obedience is born of love, and where discipline flows from gentleness and truth. This kind of home is not natural—it is supernatural, sustained by the Spirit and modeled on the gospel.
Where the Law could only demand, the gospel supplies the power to obey and to love. In Christ, children are not just commanded—they are cherished. In Christ, parents are not just enforcers—they are shepherds.
Moe Bergeron 
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